26 Reflections on Turning 26

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It’s my birthday today. Woohoo!
I’ve never been one to worry about aging. I am a huge fan of birthdays and I look at it as a celebration. 26 feels different. I feel different. Like I’m supposed to be wiser or something. I always think something major is going to happen once my birthday arrives. As if I will undergo some sort of personal transformation or something. Not this time. I’m just me. I’ve realized that personal growth doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process.

Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

1. Trust your instincts. Learn to trust yourself because that voice inside you know’s what’s up.
2. Cherish your loved ones. We shouldn’t let our busy lives get in the way of picking up the phone and calling your grandma or cousin who lives far away just to say hii.
3. Your family and friends are your support system. The people in your life now are chosen by YOU for a reason so make sure you lean on them for support when needed. You can’t be Superwoman alone.
4. The past is exactly that. Stop thinking “woulda coulda shoulda” because what is done is done. Focus on the present and how you are going to make today better than yesterday.
5. People will always have something to say. I have slowly grown out of my people pleasing ways. That is also a process in progress. If you don’t do what you know will make you happy, you will grow to be resentful and that sucks. As Dr. Seuss said “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind.”
6. Stop being so hard on yourself. Everyone leads different paths. Do what works for you. No one is perfect so acknowledge all you’ve accomplished.
7. If you want something done, get up and do it already. Procrastination leads to discontentment.
8. Organize!!! A clearly coordinated closet is a happy girl in the morning.
9. Relationships (romantical ones) teach you a lot about yourself. The standards you set for yourself determine how you will be treated. Self esteem plays a BIG part.
10. Be nice. At the end of the day, you want to go home feeling good about yourself knowing you didn’t hurt someone intentionally with your words.
11. Nip it in the butt. If you let issues fester, they will only explode in your face leaving you with a wth expression on your face.
12. Read a lot. Or cook, dance, sing, play sports….do whatever the heck floats your boat because you need it to live a life full of joy. It will keep you from pulling your hair out at your job.
13. Your personal space reflects you. Whenever my house has random piles everywhere, you know I am not having a great week. Your mood is linked to your environment. Even if you aren’t feeling peachy, take the time to declutter. It really helps.
14. stop stressing about money. Bills will Always be there. Does that mean you should devote 99% of your time dwelling on why you can’t get a much needed manicure because you have to pay rent, buy food, clean laundry, etc? NO.
15. Develop your personal style. You will feel more confident and ready to take on the world if you wear colors and textures that scream YOU.
16. Education doesn’t always equal big bucks. Ask anyone seeking employment with a college degree. Enough said.
17. Life is hard stuff. On an average salary, I’d like to know how twenties people are supposed to pay rent, cook healthy meals, maintain a grown up wardrobe, pay bills, pay off credit card or school loans and still save money for a house.
18. Spend your time wisely. If you ask me which I’d rather do: Go out partying all night or stay home watching my shows or reading? Best believe I’m choosing my shows. I don’t care if it makes me sound old but I have a lot to do and I NEED my R&R.
19. Tell your people you love them. Don’t let life pass without letting the people in your life who make you feel special that you think the world of them. It’s just not cool.
20. Stop committing to long lists. Look I did 20 and it’s just too much. Thanks for reading.

Share your wise words below.

Charisma’s Corner

Marilyn Monroe reading and writing, Marilyn Monroe pose, Black and white outfit

I’ve been thinking a lot about what this blog means to me and what I want to do with it. I’ve realized in order for this blog (and myself) to grow I need to put the same dedication, if not more, into this as I do my other (9-5) job.

Not to toot my own horn or anything but I have a good work ethic. I assess what needs to be done and make it happen. I learned the importance of work ethic from my dad. He taught me that your work, whatever it may be, is what molds your reputation. In all fields, your reputation speaks volumes of what you are capable of delivering in the future.

Back to Blogging…I need to be more organized here at Charisma in Bklyn. I’ve decided to create an editorial calendar. I guess I am a little behind but better late than never, right? Don’t know what an editorial calendar is? Read this.

In honor of getting organized, I am creating a new series on the blog called Charisma’s Corner. It will feature a few of my favorite articles & other things to inspire you to build the best life you can. Here is my first batch:

My awesome friend Ingrid shared this with me: What To Know When You Are 25ish

Sally Hope is pretty Awesome. Her blog makes you want to get your life together.

Read about one of Gala’s latest Adventures while pursuing her Radical Self Love Project

Find your perfect shade of red Here.

Quotes by Independent women.

How being Positive can change your life.

Ashley from Dramatis Personae post about Sex & the City and relationships

Glamour’s Dos & Don’ts for Summer Cocktails

5 ways to incorporate flowers into your life this summer

flowers, lifestyle, fun, innocence, hope, ways to be spontaneous during summer, red zinnia

Flowers are colorful, vibrant and generally represent all things beautiful. I love that there are so many different types of flowers and meanings. A daisy represents innocence, hope. Lilacs symbolize joy of youth. Zinnias signify thoughts of absent friends which I found most interesting.

Why don’t you figure out what your favorite flower means and find a way to incorporate it into your life? You can read more about the meanings of flowers here.

Here are five ways you can use flower magic to dd some zest into your summer adventures.

Wear a floral dress! This one from Forever 21 is fabulous. And it’s only $29.80

foreverfloraldress

Plant a garden.

flower garden

According to Hawaiian tradition, wearing a flower in your hair alerts others of your romantic status. If you wear the flower to your left it means you are taken or married! On the right…you are single andloving it.

drew barrymore flowers in hair

Add flowers to your food recipes. I know, it sounded weird to me at first. Certain flowers are actually healthy for your diet. They have high amounts of vitamins A and C. I’m not saying to pluck a few roses from your garden and eat raw. Read this for more information on flowers nutritional value and cultural history. The site even has a yummy recipe for Dandelion tea.

Last and definitely not least, get a flowery, colorful manicure or pedicure, if your work environment frowns upon bright manis.

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purple flowernails

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This list post was created to enter in IFB’s Project #100. Read more about it here. I have to thank IFB for always coming up with cool projects. This is the third time I enter a post for one of their projects. Congrats to reaching 100 posts! I was included in one of their project roundups that won me free entry to their September 2012 IFBCON. That was the highlight of my month. Check out my IFBCON 2012 posts. It was my first taste of seeing what being a blogger really is. P.S. You leave there with mad inspiration!

 

xoxo,

Kay

How to lead a charismatic lifestyle: #1

glitter, ways to lead a charismatic lifestyle, hand glitter, magic touch, glamorous ways of life, being a leader, life tips, pink nails, pretty manicure, bracelets, arm candy, gold

What is charisma? I named my blog after this word for a few reasons. For one, I love the meaning. Psychology Today described it best: “Charismatic leaders are essentially very skilled communicators ‚Äď individuals who are both verbally eloquent, but also able to communicate to followers on a deep, emotional level. They are able to articulate a compelling or captivating vision, and are able to arouse strong emotions in followers.”

Some of the best leaders are characterized as charismatic. For me, it’s that oomph magnetic type of personality that grabs your attention without you realizing it. You want to hang onto every word this magnetic person has to say because they exude confidence and a trustworthy aura. This can be a good thing if the person in question has good intention. There are several people who are charismatic who use their power (or influence) in a negative direction. However, I’m going to take a leap of faith and trust that you use your power for good. =)

In my opinion, a successful blogger is someone who captivates and inspires with their vision through unique photographs, their bewitching language, astonishing stories, etc. When you tell a story, you want people to listen. Some people are naturally charismatic leaders in their environment. They are usually the person who people gravitate towards because their personality commands it. There are also leaders who learn to be charismatic which can strengthen their connection to others. We all want to make connections, right?

Here are a few tips to get you started on your journey to charisma.

Listen to your gut. Learning to trust your intuition will make you feel confident in your decisions and that is an attractive quality. If you’re not sure how to do this, go to a quiet place, light some candles in yummy fragrance such as citrus or clean linen (my fave) and close your eyes. Listen. This usually works for me if I have an important decision to make and I’m racking my brain for the answer.

Maintain eye contact with the person you are talking to and really listen when they speak. Depending on certain cultures, eye contact shows respect. It also shows that you are focused on your audience which will make people feel connected to you. Maintaining eye contact is natural for me but everyone is different. If someone is looking down or elsewhere throughout most of the conversation, it can come off as they’re bored or uninterested and that’s no bueno.

Do something nice for a friend. A small gesture goes a long way. The other day my friend asked to borrow my metro card. I only had a few bucks on it but gave it anyway. On my way home that day, I swiped my card and realized she refilled my card with a much larger amount than I had. I was like wow! I did not expect that and she did NOT have to do that. It so happened to be my budget was tight that week so this token of kindness truly helped. Doing something nice for someone else not only feels good but it makes the other person want to reciprocate.

Dress with purpose. Think about what you are wearing right now. Does your outfit give off the vibe you want to portray? If so, awesome. If not, figure out the look you’re going for and choose pieces accordingly. Maybe a long, flowy dress makes you feel free. Or maybe jeans and a bright top make you feel sexy. Wear what makes you feel like you can take on the world.

Be genuine. When you first meet someone, focus on the individual. Small talk is a great way to engage a stranger. I find it takes off the pressure of trying to figure out what to talk about. Let the conversation flow. When in doubt, start with a compliment. Be sure what you say is genuine. Anything forced will immediately come off as fake. If it doesn’t work out with one person, at least you tried to make a new friend. Congratulate yourself on being brave enough to initiate conversation with a stranger.

Smile! People are attracted to happy people. Give off vibes you want to receive. Also, smiling makes you more approachable which makes it easier for people to come up to you. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Being vulnerable is an important part of establishing a connection with someone.

Get out of your comfort zone. Stepping into unknown territory can be exciting. Life is about discovering your full potential. Take on that work project you’re afraid of tackling. Go on a blind date. Be the first on the dance floor (I’m working on taking my own advice). Whatever you have been putting off because you are afraid, do it! You will feel ten times better afterward. Regardless the outcome, you will have gained some experience.

Thank you for reading my first installation of style tips for your road to adding a lil charisma into your life. This week’s tips were focused on interactions with strangers and friends. Next week I will talk more about creating a positive presence within yourself. I promise, it won’t be as long ;).

P.S. I am submitting this post to IFB Project #99 Summer School Post a tutorial. If you haven’t heard of IFB (Independent Fashion Bloggers) check out their site now. Even if you are not a blogger, it is full of style tips, blogging tips that can be applied to general life and inspiration of all types.

xo,

Kay

Motivational Sunday:

motivational quotes, inspiration, curiosity, challenge yourself, life tips, hunger for knowledge, Sunday babble

This quote by Peter Adams, is about continuing to push forward. I’m adopting this as my motto.

Enjoy what you create. Don’t do something just to do it. Figure out your purpose and execute accordingly.

Look more. Read more. Explore. There is so much in this world waiting for you to discover. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to know everything. Maybe it was the curious lil cat inside me but that hunger for knowledge hasn’t changed. My biggest challenge is focusing on one project. I like to start new things but once I get bored, I’m usually on to the next. Now that I’m older, I realize it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I rather know a little bit of everything than be an expert on one thing. Everyone is different. What are your thoughts on this?

Make mistakes friends. It’s funny how mistakes is crossed out because that’s how I look at mine. There is no sense in regretting something that has already happened. If you can fix it then do so and keep it movin. If there is something to learn from your mistake, note it and keep living your life. I acknowledge my mistakes in the moment, take what I can from it and say sayonara to regret. It’s taken me a long time to master this because I’m a people pleaser at heart so I tend to dwell on even little things if I know I’ve disappointed someone. We’ve all had those moments where we send a text to someone we’re not supposed to, date that person we shouldn’t date or say something hurtful to a friend. We’re human! We’re gonna make mistakes. It’s called life. How you deal with that mistake afterwards is what determines who you are and who you’re going to be. Self pity and regret will only weigh you down, honey cakes.

Be ethical & Never stop learning. I am a BIG believer in treating others the way you want to be treated. I’ve come across some rude people in my life and once you start giving them a taste of their own medicine, they are shocked. It is not difficult to be respectful at the least, people. We can have a strong impact on another person and not even realize it. Just think, you may say something nice to a stranger (or friend) and it may make their day. How’s that for karma points?!

Fun. Inspiration. Love. Fairness. Change.
Thanks for listening to my random Sunday babble.
Hope you have a magical day ūüôā
Kay

Summer Wishes

Central Park blossom, motivation, purple flowers, New York City, inspirational life tips

Central Park blossom

I can’t believe June has arrived. ¬†I’ve never been a fan of summer. ¬†Mostly because NYC humidity makes me want to lock myself in an air conditioned room and refuse to come out until I see Autumn leaves. ¬† When you think of summer, you tend to think of the beach, bbqs, vacation, refreshing cocktails. ¬†When I think of summer, I think of humidity, sweating before getting to the subway and having to work while everyone else seems to be off to the beach. ¬†Damn, that sounds bleak. ¬†I refuse to be the Grinch of Summer this year. ¬†I am going to try to fill this summer with fun experiences and unforgettable memories. ¬†That includes saying yes to invitations during the work week especially if I want to go home and relax in front of my ac. ¬†I am too young hopeful¬† to place limits on myself as I described in my¬†previous post.

Summer wishlist:

 Attend a free outdoor movie screening

 Buy a fresh bouquet of flowers (peonies are my fave)

 Create a fairy garden

 Visit a beer garden

 Enjoy sunrise while enjoying a cup of coffee

 Outdoor photoshoot

 Cancun vacation

 Finally visit Ms. Liberty (reopens July 4)

 Wear colorful, flowy skirts and dresses

WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR SUMMER 2013?

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The key to happiness: You have it.

F.A.M.E. NYC, art, beauty, happiness, change, abstract meaning, life tips

F.A.M.E. NYC

This morning I was injected with a surge of excitement because I realized I have the power to do anything I want. Maybe it’s the rainy NYC weather that puts me in reflection mode. Rewind a bit, this has been a stressful couple of days. I was feeling like a lot of things are out of my control and for someone like me, that’s no bueno. But I realized if I am not happy with something, it is up to me to change it. Complaining endlessly is not productive or fun for yourself and others around you (shot out to my lovies, thanks for listening). I’m sure everyone has felt like this at one time or another.

Sometimes we convince ourselves, and others that limitations are placed on us but we place limits on ourselves. We always have a choice. We may not like our options but we have them. It is up to you to mold the situation to make it work for yourself and your lucky loved ones who have to deal with you on a daily basis. Easier said then done, I know but it is possible.

Say you are unhappy at your job. Figure out what needs to change for you to feel better. If it’s something tangible, plant seeds to make it happen. If it is something you’ve decided isn’t worth your time then you always have the option to resign and find something better suited to your liking. Quit my job? I have bills to pay! Of course you do, we all do. I’m not saying it will be easy but if you come up with a plan and save some money, with time anything is possible. Instead of going to work miserable everyday, spend your time coming up with ways to better your perception of life. What’s the worst that could happen? You may actually become happy.

If you are not happy in your relationship (romantic, platonic, whatever), realize the only person you have to stand being around is yourself, which is why you should take time to build an awesome relationship with yourself, but that’s another post entirely.

Bottom line: You are awesome. You deserve the best. As soon as you believe that you will gain power over your life and start to feel control and happy with your outcome.

HAPPY FRIDAY!