Read This If You Want To Be A Valuable Friend

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We all have that friend who has no filter, is cheap when the bill comes, judges when her/his life is just as in shambles as yours. We tolerate that person for whatever reason but do we really want them around? I’ve been thinking about rules of etiquette regarding friendship. Here are a few I think are vital to continue receiving phone calls, invites and other friendly gestures.

Boundaries. We all need them. Boundaries maintain a clear line of respect. When I think back to my past, most relationships were broken because boundaries were not established. It’s up to you to let people know what your limits are. You can’t make everyone happy.

Cheer your friend on! I don’t know about you but if my girly tells me she is making a life change like moving in with her guy, contemplating marriage, applying for a new job, whatever, I will ask two questions: are you truly happy with the situation? What does your gut tell you? Depending on the situation, I will listen, be supportive and offer my advice if wanted. It’s important not to make your friend feel like talking to you was a mistake. Also, try to keep the negativity to a minimum. No one wants to be burdened with senseless complaints about life. Be mindful of your language. Keep it positive.

Compromise. Listen, we all have busy lives. However, we need to make time for the people we care about. Yes, you may be tired from work but if your friend can only do dinner on a Tuesday night after work then you should do it.

Keep secrets. If A friend trusts you with something, you better keep it in the vault or a wall can build between you. Most people value trust. No one wants to go to a friend who babbles everyone’s business.

Encourage your circle!!!!!!!! I can’t say this enough. If you call me for help, I will be there with whatever u need: a bat, words of wisdom, kick in the ass, an ear to listen, whatever. I expect the same in return.

Guy friendships vs. girl friendships are so different but that’s another post entirely. What I love about some bromances is they encourage each other. Whether its to talk to a girl or finding a new job, they aren’t in competition like women are. That sucks. I see so many women tearing each other down instead of lifting one another. Do not forget your friends go to you because they need support. Most of the time, you are your own worst critic so when you are feeling crummy or you want to share amazing news, you are not looking for criticism. You are looking for your friend.

What do you think makes a valuable friend?
Thanks for reading 🙂

What do you look for in a Friend?

friendship, elephant, nice people, relationships, vulnerability, trust

I like The Free Dictionary by Farlex’s definition: A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts; person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause.

I am very big on vibes. Chemistry is important in a friendship. Someone can have qualities you desire in a friend but if you don’t click the friendship will fizzle out. I can get along with almost anyone but when I meet a person I am intrigued by I try to learn more about them. Sometimes, that curiosity turns into a promising friendship.

Friendships can be tricky. You want to be supportive without being a pushover. You want to be honest without sounding like a bully. Even if your opinions differ (a good thing), there should always be mutual respect. You should be able to feel vulnerable around a true friend without feeling threatened.

Growing up without siblings, I always enjoyed having a lot of friends. That yearning led me astray sometimes. I chose friends for the wrong reasons. We’ve all been there. 25 years later, I can finally say I know what I want in a friend. I know that being around negative people takes a toll on me. Now, I choose wisely. I prefer having less than a handful of friends I feel great around than a bunch of questionable leeches disguised with good intentions.

We have different friends for different reasons. There is the gal pal you drink some wine with while chatting for hours. When you are having a sucky day, you call that person you count on to make you crack up laughing until your tummy muscles hurt. There’s also the friend who challenges you to go beyond your comfort zone. And there is the friend who will remain by your side no matter what. If you have each of these friends or one with all of these characteristics, cherish them! I am proud to say the people I choose to surround myself with are my true friends. Shout out to Ny, third grade line! 🙂 I have a handful of special people that influence and inspire me and may not even realize it. Thanks, guys (and ladies).

Good friends are the key to a fun life. These are the people you share your great (and not so great) experiences with. Who else can you call at 7 in the morning for life advice? Or in my case, listen to me ramble until I feel sane again.

On Facebook, I asked what everyone looks for in a friend. Here are some of the responses:

-Some one who is supportive, non judgmental, respectful, love you for you

-Someone who is loyal… always there for you, doesn’t judge… is your friend through the good & bad

-“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks for your responses!! Truly appreciated.

Friendship articles you may find interesting:

6 qualities to look for in a friend, or partner

Friendship In Adulthood: What Do You Look For?