What do you look for in a Friend?

friendship, elephant, nice people, relationships, vulnerability, trust

I like The Free Dictionary by Farlex’s definition: A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts; person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause.

I am very big on vibes. Chemistry is important in a friendship. Someone can have qualities you desire in a friend but if you don’t click the friendship will fizzle out. I can get along with almost anyone but when I meet a person I am intrigued by I try to learn more about them. Sometimes, that curiosity turns into a promising friendship.

Friendships can be tricky. You want to be supportive without being a pushover. You want to be honest without sounding like a bully. Even if your opinions differ (a good thing), there should always be mutual respect. You should be able to feel vulnerable around a true friend without feeling threatened.

Growing up without siblings, I always enjoyed having a lot of friends. That yearning led me astray sometimes. I chose friends for the wrong reasons. We’ve all been there. 25 years later, I can finally say I know what I want in a friend. I know that being around negative people takes a toll on me. Now, I choose wisely. I prefer having less than a handful of friends I feel great around than a bunch of questionable leeches disguised with good intentions.

We have different friends for different reasons. There is the gal pal you drink some wine with while chatting for hours. When you are having a sucky day, you call that person you count on to make you crack up laughing until your tummy muscles hurt. There’s also the friend who challenges you to go beyond your comfort zone. And there is the friend who will remain by your side no matter what. If you have each of these friends or one with all of these characteristics, cherish them! I am proud to say the people I choose to surround myself with are my true friends. Shout out to Ny, third grade line! 🙂 I have a handful of special people that influence and inspire me and may not even realize it. Thanks, guys (and ladies).

Good friends are the key to a fun life. These are the people you share your great (and not so great) experiences with. Who else can you call at 7 in the morning for life advice? Or in my case, listen to me ramble until I feel sane again.

On Facebook, I asked what everyone looks for in a friend. Here are some of the responses:

-Some one who is supportive, non judgmental, respectful, love you for you

-Someone who is loyal… always there for you, doesn’t judge… is your friend through the good & bad

-“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thanks for your responses!! Truly appreciated.

Friendship articles you may find interesting:

6 qualities to look for in a friend, or partner

Friendship In Adulthood: What Do You Look For?

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